The Political Ostrich. Scientific name: Kirkus Adamsus

Mr. Ostrich has been pecking on the head of his opponent, former Congressman Matt Salmon, for being a lobbyist. “The last thing we need in Washington DC is one more lobbyist roaming those halls,” squawked Mr. Ostrich.

“Our poll showed that 53% of voters said they would not vote for a former lobbyist!”

Gilbert Watch Reporter: “But Mr. Ostrich, one of the highest ranking Republicans in the country who is endorsing you was a professional lobbyist. He was a lobbyist before launching his political career in the late 1980’s.”

Mr. Ostrich: “Who’s that?”

Gilbert Watch Reporter: “
Sen. Jon Kyl.”

“Also, Mr. Ostrich, you were a registered lobbyist for NFIB in 2005 and you remained a lobbyist until January 2007, about 9 months into your first year as a lawmaker.

“So, Mr. Ostrich, what did you know about lobbying and when did you know it?”

Mr. Ostrich: “Well, I wasn’t a lobbyist lobbyist.”

Gilbert Watch Reporter: “According to your finance reports, you rely on lobbyists to pay for your campaign. About 20% of all the cash is from lobbyists or employees of lobbying firms.

When are you going to return this money to the lobbyists you have so little regard for?"

Mr. Ostrich: “Are you talking to me?”

Glbert Watch Reporter: "And isn’t it a fact that you hired Kevin DeMenna, a lobbyist, to help you become the Speaker of the House in the Arizona Legislature?

"Isn’t it a fact that on March 30, Veridus is holding a
Fundraiser for you? They are lobbyists. Aren’t these facts a little hard for you to ignore?"

Mr. Ostrich: “Facts? I don’t need no stinking facts! I’m trying to win an election!”
 

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